"I promise I'll think about it." I told him. "Thanks." he said. "I can't feel too bad about you and your ex." I said. I felt like I should be honest with him. "Why?" He asked. "Chris." I told him. "Oh." Was all he said. "That didn't mean anything either. I regreted it as soon as he started acting like his old self around my parents." I told him. "Do you regret Warren or Spence?" He asked. I thought about it. "No. They both mean something to me. In different ways I guess. I regret being with Warren when I was still with you. I was drunk, and it was a mistake, but I should have known it wasn't you. I was stupid." I said. "We are all stupid sometimes." He mumbled. "I'm sorry too Oz." I told him. "I can get over it. I guess I have. Spence and Warren don't even bother me anymore. I just miss you." He said. "Do you miss me? Or being with me? Becuase I miss you being my best friend so much." I told him. "Both. But I know I miss being with you more." He said. I sighed. "You really don't love me?" He asked. "I do. You know that. It's just different. I mean...I loved you before as my friend." I tried to explain. "That isn't love?" He asked. "It is, but- Fuck. I don't know. It's confusing." I said. "I'm sorry. I'll drop it. Just please think about it." He said. "I will. I promise." I told him. "Do you love Warren? Or Spence?" He asked me. I looked at him. "Warren, no. I care about him, and he is a good guy, but there isn't anything there more then friendship. I think he feels the same way." I said. "And Spence?" He asked. He sounded upset. "I can't say that I love him. But he means a lot to me." I said. "Be honest." Oz said. "You don't want me to." I told him. "Please." He said. "Okay. I think I could love Spence. I know I could. If he hadn't broken up with me, Oz, I'm not sure you and I would have gotten together." I said. He closed his eyes. "I knew that. I always did. I just wanted to hear you say it." He said. "Oz. I'm glad you and I dated. Even if was just a few weeks. I wouldn't take it back for anything." I told him. "Then lets try it again." He said. I didn't know what to say. I guess I was afraid of dating Oz again, and missing a chance with Spence. Or leaving Oz for Spence in the long run. How horrible would I be then. I also felt like I was thinking too much about everything. I had enjoyed being in a relationship with Oz. It was really only my second one that really meant something to me. "Osker, I've really got to think about this. I don't want to hurt you later on." I told him. "It's a no." He said. "What?" I asked. "You just called me Osker. You aren't going to date me again." He said. "That doesn't mean anything. I call you that when I'm being serious, you know that." I said. "Sorry." He said. "Honestly, I could see myself dating you again. I just want to make sure I, we, make a good decision here." I told him. "I know. I think you are right too. You've always been the more logical one." He said. I smiled. "I shouldn't have brought it up anyway. You've been through a lot lately." he said. I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder.
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"I promise I'll think about it." I told him.
"Thanks." he said.
"I can't feel too bad about you and your ex." I said. I felt like I should be honest with him.
"Why?" He asked.
"Chris." I told him.
"Oh." Was all he said.
"That didn't mean anything either. I regreted it as soon as he started acting like his old self around my parents." I told him.
"Do you regret Warren or Spence?" He asked. I thought about it.
"No. They both mean something to me. In different ways I guess. I regret being with Warren when I was still with you. I was drunk, and it was a mistake, but I should have known it wasn't you. I was stupid." I said.
"We are all stupid sometimes." He mumbled.
"I'm sorry too Oz." I told him.
"I can get over it. I guess I have. Spence and Warren don't even bother me anymore. I just miss you." He said.
"Do you miss me? Or being with me? Becuase I miss you being my best friend so much." I told him.
"Both. But I know I miss being with you more." He said. I sighed.
"You really don't love me?" He asked.
"I do. You know that. It's just different. I mean...I loved you before as my friend." I tried to explain.
"That isn't love?" He asked.
"It is, but- Fuck. I don't know. It's confusing." I said.
"I'm sorry. I'll drop it. Just please think about it." He said.
"I will. I promise." I told him.
"Do you love Warren? Or Spence?" He asked me. I looked at him.
"Warren, no. I care about him, and he is a good guy, but there isn't anything there more then friendship. I think he feels the same way." I said.
"And Spence?" He asked. He sounded upset.
"I can't say that I love him. But he means a lot to me." I said.
"Be honest." Oz said.
"You don't want me to." I told him.
"Please." He said.
"Okay. I think I could love Spence. I know I could. If he hadn't broken up with me, Oz, I'm not sure you and I would have gotten together." I said. He closed his eyes.
"I knew that. I always did. I just wanted to hear you say it." He said.
"Oz. I'm glad you and I dated. Even if was just a few weeks. I wouldn't take it back for anything." I told him.
"Then lets try it again." He said. I didn't know what to say. I guess I was afraid of dating Oz again, and missing a chance with Spence. Or leaving Oz for Spence in the long run. How horrible would I be then. I also felt like I was thinking too much about everything. I had enjoyed being in a relationship with Oz. It was really only my second one that really meant something to me.
"Osker, I've really got to think about this. I don't want to hurt you later on." I told him.
"It's a no." He said.
"What?" I asked.
"You just called me Osker. You aren't going to date me again." He said.
"That doesn't mean anything. I call you that when I'm being serious, you know that." I said.
"Sorry." He said.
"Honestly, I could see myself dating you again. I just want to make sure I, we, make a good decision here." I told him.
"I know. I think you are right too. You've always been the more logical one." He said. I smiled.
"I shouldn't have brought it up anyway. You've been through a lot lately." he said. I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder.
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